When someone you care about has a drug or alcohol problem, it is hard to know what to do.
It is even more challenging when your loved one doesn’t recognize their own problem or is in denial about their addiction. When it seems like you have nowhere else to turn, you may decide that it is time to hold an intervention.
Unfortunately, interventions, especially those without a professional, are not always successful and your chances of getting your loved one help may decrease with each failed intervention. It is important to know what not to do or say at an intervention so that your loved one gets help.
How Not to Do an Intervention
Interventions can be touchy and can easily get off track. If you want yours to be successful, you need to know what not to do at an intervention.Some things to avoid when holding an intervention include:
- Throwing the intervention together last minute
- Having no set script or order of events
- Letting everyone talk at once
- Inviting everyone
- Not holding a pre-intervention meeting with participants
- Not offering a solution like addiction treatment options or consequences for not getting help
- Having no one leading the meeting
- Having the addict intoxicated or high during the meeting
- Accepting your addicted loved one’s excuses
Things Not to Say at an Intervention
It isn’t just about what not to do at an intervention, it is also a lot about what not to say. Because emotions usually run high at these meetings, many people end up saying something they shouldn’t. Unfortunately, saying the wrong thing can quickly derail the intervention and cause your loved one to refuse to get help.If you are planning on holding your own meeting, here are some things to avoid when speaking:
- Not recognizing that addiction is a treatable disease
- Name calling
- Pointing fingers at or blaming the addict
- Speaking out of negative emotions instead of love and concern
- Going off script
- Not reminding the addict that you love them
- Yelling in anger
- Only pointing out failures
- Speaking in generalities
- Interrupting others
Trying to stage a successful intervention on you own can be challenging. It you really want your loved one to get help and your intervention to work, you should hire a professional interventionist.
